A nagging, doubting little voice in my head has been poking away at me – Will I ever be able to devote the time to making Mauveine a viable business? Should the money spent on silk and supplies be going to other things? Am I wasting my time and energy and money on a glorified hobby? What the heck was I thinking?
And then it came to me. Over the years I’ve been wife, mom, income earner, caregiver… and in the midst of all that my self, who I am, slipped away from me. Yeah, it would be amazing if I could do nothing but work in my art room all day. It would be incredible if my silk pieces started selling fast and furious. Will what I do ever pay for itself? I have no idea, but what I do know is that I’m finally doing something that’s for ME and no one else.
Situations change; I know someday I’ll have my chance to really make Mauveine an actual business, but until then I have to be satisfied with those precious moments stolen away from typing, cleaning house, or keeping Mom company to forget about everything else and just… be.
When I’m working on art I’m able to reconnect with that lost self. It feeds my soul; it renews me, it heals me. I’m incomplete without it and I’ll never give up on that part of me again.